Uh Oh: My Email Was Misinterpreted. What Now?
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I like to think that I have a good sense of humor and believe that there is room for friendliness in a professional relationship. But I'll admit to being surprised, and not in a good way, when after sending a thank you email to an events planner I'm working with, I got this response: "Always at your service, mylady[sic]." I've only been conversing with this person for a couple of months, and we certainly are not at that level of friendliness (although, as a friend of mine pointed out, a comment like this really only would have been appropriate had I signed off on my email "Until the morrow, my lord.").
But all joking aside, most of my Facebook friends agreed that this crossed the line. It inspired Christine Pilch's post "Avoiding inappropriateness to safeguard your brand," where she makes this important point (see her full post for the second example):
"Both of the above examples were likely innocent mistakes, however they illustrate how easy it is to damage your reputation by simply crossing a line. Your reputation is very closely intertwined with your brand, which is a reflection of your constituency's perception of you. To illustrate my point, consider how BP's reputation over the past 3-months has affected their brand.
Your brand is critical, so be careful to avoid any inappropriateness that could potentially damage it. Resist the temptation to be cute because it might not be perceived that way on the other end."
And it turns out perception is the key. I saw this morning, thanks to a tweet from Guy Kawasaki, that only a little over 50% of people interpret the tone of emails correctly.
That's right - 50%.
That's a pretty scary statistic, especially when you consider that 90% think they are interpreting the tone correctly and 80% of writers think that their tone is clear.
As Christine suggests in her post, that leaves a lot up to chance and personalities, which is unsettling when you're talking about your brand - and make no mistake, every communication that you have, whether by email, phone, in person, or via the social webs, reflects on your brand.
To me, the lesson is the same as Christine's, to be more careful in your emails. But it also got me thinking, what should you do if an email is misinterpreted? Because Christine was right in saying that this events planner's reputation has been damaged in my opinion - how could he have made it right?
I think most often, when an email is misinterpreted as being offensive, it's ignored. But in my case, I did send him an email shortly afterwards, asking him to keep our communications professional, so he had the heads up that I was upset. Unfortunately, I got no response.
Had he called me immediately (or at least at some point yesterday), to apologize and explain that it was just his sense of humor, things would have been smoothed over. Had he even just quickly emailed me back to apologize and say it would never happen again, I would feel differently. But he just left my email unanswered, and that says to me as the client "I don't care about your feelings."
And that translates to "I don't care about your business."
In a service business like we are in (both lawyers and legal marketers), customer service matters. Mistakes happen; they're a natural part of life, and we're all human. But "I'm sorry" goes a long way in showing your clients that you care about their business.
Lindsay, what a great reminder. In the early days of email I witnessed some VERY bad judgment calls and have always held them close as object lessons. Although I'm certainly guilty of misreading tone and also sometimes lax in my own, I make it a habit to read, re-read and sometime let an email "rest" a minute or two before sending. Another rule that I follow is before hitting send, I check the address in the address field. One of those early lessons involved a very risque email sent by a receptionist who had intended it to go to one person, only she inadvertently also selected "19th Floor." The email was not only risque but also named a specific lawyer who happened to be a senior partner! At the time that lawyer did not use email and the offending communication was intercepted and immediately removed before too much damage was done. I've never forgotten it though and I'm sure others remember too, thus underscoring that even one email mistake can be deadly to a reputation.
Thanks for your comment Jayne! I agree with your suggestion to read and re-read emails, as well as letting them sit - I certainly do that whenever I'm frustrated or upset about something, so that I don't send anything I can't take back. I have realized by watching other people retract emails that the receiver can still read the original and see the gaffes, so I try not to take that route as well (I think it actually does a better job of *highlighting* that there's a mistake than fixing it). And your advice to check the send field is key as well - I've made that mistake on a smaller scale before, and I've seen it made on a larger scale too, with much more serious consequences. Though that being said, I mistyped someone's email just this morning and had to re-send it to her. In this immediate gratification world, it takes some necessary discipline to wait, check, think about it, and then send. I certainly need it as much as anyone else!
This reminds me of a point that Jonathan Fitzgarrald drove home at #LMA Quickstart. Legal marketers need to be careful communicating with their internal clients. Often times better off making in-person visits to avoid situations describe above from happening.
I read the article twice to see if I missed something but I'm left wondering how his response to you was so highly inappropriate. I think this perceived slight stems more from your inflated sense of self-importance than anything the event planner's email said. I suggest you lighten up.
Tara, I'm sorry that you feel that way. I'd like to point out that I never said his response was highly inappropriate, just that it was inappropriate. I stand by that. When my company works with an events planner, we are putting them in direct contact with our clients (during the conference). I have worked with my clients for almost six years, and I know what level of service they expect at these events, so I know what they're expecting from the events planner. And his comment gave me pause. I didn't rush off and fire him, or complain to his superior, or send him a whole long email criticizing what he did. I simply asked him to keep his correspondence more professional in the future - which I don't think is too much to ask when you're working with someone you don't yet know very well, and know that they'll be working with your clients.
I think the point of Christine's post, and my post, is that something that's as simple as a cute-sy response like the one that this person sent me can damage your reputation, if the person on the other end isn't receptive. You'll note that I didn't call this guy out by name, I just thought his accidental comment could serve as a warning that you never know how an email will be received. And when it's not received well, there can be an opportunity to smooth the relationship over.
Hi Lindsay. Hi Tara.
Tara, we haven't met, but knowing Social Media like I do, our paths may have already crossed and I just don't know it!
In this age of honesty and sharing, which I can see you believe in by your comment to Lindsay, I just wanted to make sure you known Lindsay like I know Lindsay. Lindsay is the farthest thing from having an inflated sense of self-importance. I'm not sure if you have known her, causing you to say that about her, but if not, I'd love to share that she is one of the most thoughtful, selfless, kind, humble and honest people I know. I'd like you to know her like I know her, or even a fraction of how I know her, as I know you wouldn't be able to say that about her if you did.
Perhaps Lindsay, like maybe you at some point in your past, has been rubbed the wrong way by certain phrases, or names, or accusations? This is all she was sharing in this post. She shared honest feelings about how someone addressed her, so they are valid concerns to her.
I am certain you didn't mean to be abrupt, and I certainly am not trying to be abrupt to you. I just really want you to know that your characterization of her is not at all the Lindsay I know.
Just as Lindsay pointed out in her post, and others who commented, making sure tone and intention in communication is on target, it is important to clear up what we can when we can.
I hope our paths can cross again as I'd like to get to know more about you.
@NancyMyrland
Wowza. Sorry, Lindsay (even though I don't know you personally!). It seems that most bloggers welcome dissent or disagreement, and it appears that you do also. But this seemed to go beyond that to personal attack. It seems to me that the comment was out of bounds and completely uncalled for. Your reply seemed to indicate that her comment was also untrue as you handled it with grace and aplomb - and apparent humility.
Regardless, the issue brought my attention to your post - which I think is great, by the way. I'll be passing it around to our companies here because we do a lot of business via email (doesn't everybody nowadays?).
As a journalist in a world that is quickly evolving into one highly impacted by social media and connecting professionally with others through social networking, I am always interested to read topics such as these. I enjoyed this blog posting in particular because as much of an asset as e-mail, blogging, Facebook and Twitter have become in my field, it also gives many who use it a false sense of comfort in how they address others through these outlets. Lindsay, I believe your posting really brings to light the issues that have come up from people having a computer screen in front of them and not a live person, yet the impact is the same. If you as the client had been sitting with this person at a table discussing business, I would almost guarantee that a less than professional response such as that would never have been said. Too often in recent years, professionals forget that proper business etiquette is required in every form of contact you have with another. I feel that the comment left above suggesting your post comes from an "inflated sense of self-importance" actually further proves the point that the comfort with which people type away at their keyboards without thinking, quickly destroys any semblance of professionalism that person may have and can drive away potential clients. For professionals in journalism, we have always known that what goes to print with our name attached to it is a reflection of ourselves. Many people using online resources to connect with others would do well to remember that. You own what you say, write and also, what you type.
Interpretation - a key word here. No one person takes a comment/phrase/paragraph/email/etc. the same way, especially when it's contained on a piece of paper, virtual or otherwise.
And if you're paying for someone's services, you have expectations. Whether they are legitimate enough...for…who? You? Me? The world? That's open for interpretation. (There's that word again.) Who is to say what is legitimate enough? What if Lindsay didn't receive the email - what if one of the senior partners did? Then it would be OK to write a blog post about it, correct? I guarantee no one would tell a senior partner at a law firm that it's their self-importance that got in the way of his/her interpretation.
Lindsay's point is not that she couldn't BELIEVE that someone would write that to her, her point is that e-mails are left to the end-user's interpretation, and calling someone "mylady," when you don't really know the person on the other end, isn't exactly appropriate. It's like ending the email with "sweetie" or "honey" or any other adjective that you may want to call someone. Until you know someone well, and sometimes even then, it's on you to make sure your words are not misinterpreted. The issue here isn't exactly whether or not "mylady" is offensive or otherwise, it's what Jayne & Lindsay said - it's about making sure your message is clear. And I believe that Lindsay's message is VERY clear. She didn't fire the event planner, it just brought up a good point that we can all learn from.
And if anyone is still in doubt…sign "mylady" at the bottom of your e-mails and see what happens.
[PS - Erin, very wells said.]